So there I was, on my way home from a long day. I hit the button for the elevator to take me to my 9th floor apartment. The doors opened, and I got in the elevator. I held the doors for a guy, about my age, to get in as well. I hit the number 9.

He hit the number 2.

2nd floor? Really buddy? You're going to slow down MY LIFE to save you from walking a single flight? FURTHERMORE, the elevator takes longer to go one floor. YOU are going OUT OF YOUR WAY to slow me down.

It is unacceptable to take the elevator one floor unless you are an old lady.

A few days ago I made one of my tri-annual trips to Subway. You're all probably familiar with the Subway brand, but suffice to say, they sell below average sandwiches at a healthy profit under the false premise that the sandwiches are at least slightly less poisonous than the rest of the fast food options.

So there I was, a 24 year old with little time and 4 dollars. I ventured in to the Subway on the campus of Wake Forest. (Quick aside:If you ever have the chance to stop by this location I highly recommend it. Wake Forest food service is famous for hauntingly bad service, and Subway does not fail to disappoint. If you ever want truly bad service and a sandwich that's below even Subway standards then make a special trip!) I eventually make it to the counter, and then the roller coaster begins. Having been to Subway before I'm well versed in the process, which is vital, as none of the employees speak English. Well, they speak English, just not the King's English, or for that matter even what passes for English on MTV, VH1, or The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric.

Having asked for 6 inch wheat, and receiving white bread, I gaze up at the menu one last time, to get the Subway Club. But wait! What do my wandering eyes see? Can it be true? Yes! Great success!

It was at this moment I saw that Subway had brought back the Seafood Sensation. The seafood sensation sandwich is like the McRib, except that no one knows about it, no one orders it, and Subway never talks about it. It is like a cult sandwich. However, the only members of the cult are me and Ron Paul. I was once a member of the general public, the great mass of people that didn't know about the Seafood Sensation, until Ron Paul introduced me to the imitation seafood goodness.

The following story about me, Ron Paul, Sun Chips, and the Subway Seafood Sensation is all completely true.

The year was 2003, Lawrence v. Texas was freeing peoples minds and Hurricane Isabel was bearing down on the mid-Atlantic, but I was too busy being in awe of Washington DC. I would later grow out of that. As a fresh faced 20 year old interning in DC, the world and all its riches were mine. Every week my intern class would meet a congressman, and take him lunch, from Subway.

Looking back on it, I still can't understand why the Intern Director was always taking us to Subway. Sure, it was right next to the Capitol Hill Metro stop, but still, maybe a Congressman would want something a bit better than Subway. But I digress...

There I was, on my way to meet Ron Paul, a Texas congress man that none of us had ever heard of. All we were told was that he was very libertarian and loved the Subway Seafood Sensation. I wasn't sure what the latter meant, but I understand the former, and knew I would enjoy talking with him. Standing in line, I see his sandwich being made. It intrigues me, but I'm also frightened. The crazy part of the Seafood Sensation is just how different it is from all other sandwiches that Subway offers. After getting my standard Meatball (Subway's version of which is truly uninspired), we proceed to the Congressman's office. We sit and talk, all pretending to enjoy our below average sandwiches, when a big moment happened. Ron Paul said that he was full, and would trade the second half of his sandwich for a bag of Sun Chips.

Now I'm the kinda guy who jumps at a chance to add something to my resume. The line "Ate a Congressman's Sandwich" was just too good to pass up. So there I was, about to experience THE sandwich of our time. I devoured the sandwich, and I raved for weeks about it. No one believed me, they were all to intimidated, but I assure you, it was fantastic. The imitation crab meat plays upon what I can only assume is watered down mayonnaise, all of which combines into a beautiful expression of flavor. I suggest adding cucumbers for added crunch. Perhaps spinach if one is so inclined.

So you can imagine my delight upon learning that Seafood Sensation was back! I excitedly ordered, then ordered it again, but this time speaking slower and then eventually pointing to it on the menu. Once the language barrier was overcome I was dashing through campus to enjoy one of my favorite things in life.

Labels: Libertarian, Ron Paul, Sandwich, Seafood Sensation, Wake Forest